Chill Out

Relax, I'm not dead. Just had a busy last couple of months so I didn't bother posting anything. Besides, I think I'm reduced down to an audience of one but that's okay. Just posting what's in my mind and heart and I don't think anyone minds that.

Sigh...wow, what an...um, UNUSUAL turn of events. Not bad, very good actually. Friends getting new jobs, new romances and some with both :) and I applaud them. Keep moving forward and I wish you all happiness with whatever comes your way.

But when something like that happens, you can't help but to think to yourself, "Hmm...anything new happening with me?" And as I look at it...well, at least I'm healthier :) Exercising on a regular basis and seeing results (not BIG results but results nonetheless). And it's enough of a motivator for me to keep going. I like the way some of my shirts fit me now. I look almost buff enough to be on the cast of the Jersey Shore...key word being "almost."

I'd like to say that's my goal. To have absolutely massive arms but with no help from steroids. I just want to pump iron and be a monster. Grr! :) but with time, it'll come.

Now I'm listening to some jamz to put me in the mood of relaxation before bed. Have a good one, every one...well...YOU, my only reader. ;) Goodnight.

P.S.- Hang in there...

Futile

I guess when you really think about it all...it was all for naught.

Useless, senseless, futile. Just a big waste of time.

So much effort was put into it...and now, it's not even anything to fight for.

...I guess that's the way some things end up becoming. Futile.

FYI

Yeah, I'm not sure how long I can keep this "F" theme going. It has taken me over a month to think of an "F" title for this blog post. Sad, isn't it? Okay, not really. I've forgotten about this blog from time to time but decided to update it tonight.

So...A LOT has happened since I last posted. Will I tell you everything that has happened? No. Will I tell you just a small portion of what happened? Yes. I went on Spring Break last week and had a wonderful time. I saw many of my friends and had a lot of fun. I ate at a fabulous diner thrice while on break.

I've missed my friends so much. And hopefully I can do it again soon. And I mean...REALLY REALLY soon...grr...

February

Needless to say, this has been quite the month. You'd think it would be an easy one, given that it was short but nooooo...

We had the biggest snow storm in February. Quite impressive, to tell the truth. Got a whole week off from school. It was really nice just sitting in the house playing the Wii, eating all the food in the house. But I later paid for it though. I feel like a blob...well, a BIGGER blob than before.

This was also the month that I took a really nice trip to Pittsburgh, to rendezvous with a friend from college. It was...a really nice evening. Went to the Cheesecake Factory. Yeah, only eating there when I know I have money in the bank. I had their filet mignon. Pretty good and tender. And I got the tiramisu cheesecake. It was divine :D

Basketball season drew to a close (Hallelujah chorus) and man, I'm happy it's over. I've learned a lot about people, coaching, and the sport of basketball. But will I do it again? I'm not going to say no...because something tells me that I will but the fact that I'm going to do it next year is HIGHLY unlikely.

Well it's the month of March and I already know it will have it's fair share of surprises...but I'm looking forward to the end of the month.

It will be...a very nice.

Fierce

Lately I've been feeling this way for some reason. You'd think I was over some things and I thought I was too. But sometimes, things start flooding back.

...and when things start flooding back, I get irritated. And then I get angry. And then I just want to yell. Sometimes I think how unfair it was the certain things happened and no one ever heard my side or my rationale. And then I begin to think about what they put me through and I'd give anything to sit them down and yell and scream at them. Then maybe, just maybe they can taste the pain they've caused me. If I can cause a tear to drop, if I can invoke fear in this person's heart than they'll finally understand. And not only that, but they'll think twice before crossing me.

I'm just get fed up. People getting into my business, making a mess of things and then moving on with live with no regard for the lives they've ruined in the past. No thought about what they did or no concern for how that person feels. Selfish, they are. They say they're concerned. They say they love me. Where are you now? No where to be found.

But then let me flip the script...what have I done? Did I push them away? ...nope, I was on the right track.

You say I have a lot of bitterness...you can say that. I guess I never get over anything. Or at least, I need more time.

Frustrated

I can't sleep and I may know a couple reasons why

1. This snow has really taken it's toll on me. I stay up all night, sleep in, eat and play video games all day. As much as I don't want to do it, I need to start working again. Make myself more useful and perhaps introduce some new things in my daily routine.

2. My itching has come back. Not full force but it's still here. Even with the medication, I just seem to scratch and itch. Makes for a real frustrating night.

3. I worked out Tuesday and still feeling the affects from it. Each day it hurts more. It's getting more and more uncomfortable to do anything. I'll be fine...but not for a while.

4. Can't say much but I'm now dealing with a situation and not quite sure how to handle it. I know one thing, something has to change. Some people may not understand it and some people may not like it but looking at my track record, I'm not a person that is known for pleasing everybody all the time. I guess I'm battling what people will think of me after the fact...but really, that's not my problem; especially if it's for their benefit. I've said too much already

Fever

...yeah, nuff said.

Frozen Tundra

Okay, it's been a while since I posted but that's what happens with blogs. They suffer droughts like the desert and exercise regiments...

Anyway, this winter has been absolutely crazy. December, we got about a foot. Now, the Blizzard of 2010, it's looking like 2 feet of snow. I've never seen anything like this. It's pretty cool...but having no power wasn't all that fun. It lasted about 14 or so hours but our power is back, up and running.

Funny, you don't realize what you have until it's gone. Electricity is one thing. But it can apply to other things as well. Friends...I miss dearly. I know they're not "gone" but they're not available like they used to be.

Eh, change of subject but I've been told I'm good at it. Oh well, have a good one (all three of you)