Foggy

I always have that foggy-headed feeling from the time I WAKE up to the time I GET out of bed. I programmed my radio to go off at 5:30 every morning. You know, I need plenty of time to get ready. Anyway, the alarm goes off this morning and I hear classical music playing. My exact thoughts at that point were thus: "Mmm? Uh, man. I really wish this music would cut off so I can listen out for my alarm...."

So a few minutes go by and I'm still thinking the same thought. The fact that the classical music WAS my alarm didn't dawn on me until I reached for the power button. Heh, then I just chuckled to myself.

Well here I go again, drifting off to la-la land.

Goodnight

Fake

Heh, if there's anything I don't want to be...it's being fake. I want to be genuine; true blue.

It's hard, you know? I know it's hard. You put on a smile and pretend everything is all honky-dory...but you know deep down, things are pretty much the opposite. The person that you're smiling with and laughing with turns out to be the person you want behead with your teeth (bite their head off...grammatical inconsistency, bleh). But you can't possibly do that. So you put on a smile.

But as I think about it, is it necessarily a bad thing? Should you avoid the person or give the person a scowl every time you two see each other? Maybe it makes things just a bit better whenever you "put on a smile."

Smile...and give them a wink too ;) They love that :D

Fortunate

I do take for granted the Lord's goodness to me. I am blessed and fortunate to be where I am at now. Some people would give anything just to switch places with me. May I always keep God's goodness in the forefront of my mind.

Far Far Away

I've been feeling as if I'm very far away from a lot of things and people. Distance doesn't have to play role, although it plays a major role in certain circumstances.

So far away from where I should be...

So far away from loved ones...

I never thought I'd say this but I miss Tennessee. That is, I miss those who are presently there but I'm just too far away...

But I'm a rolling stone.

Food :P

Well it's Missions Conference time around our church and it's a wonderful time for us. It's good to see slides, seeing what God is doing and what He is able to do through our local church. I'm praying that the Lord will do a mighty work.

We have our Missions Banquet to commence everything. A lot of people cook food and bring it in and we have a good time. Unfortunately, there are some foods I cannot eat like someone's ceviche (shrimp soup) and other dishes because I'm allergic to them. But for every dish I'm allergic to, there are 20 others I can so I'll be fine.

I'll be making my classic spicy chicken dip. I haven't made it in a while but I know the recipe by heart. I'm thinking that I'm going to spice things up and add more hot sauce :D Yeah...

Can't wait for it. It's going to be a great time for our church this week.

False Alarm

So I reported to work this morning at 8:30 instead of the usual 9. I was asked to do so and it wasn't a big deal. Good thing I did. It was a pretty long day. Well...longer than the past couple of days anyway.

Right now, the church is expanding and it's really exciting to see all these things happen. We know that the Lord is in it. But before we get into the new building, there is some well-needed construction. Today while the builders were hammering away, some dust worked its way throughout the building and before you knew it, BER BER BER BER!!! The dust triggered the alarm.

Heh, no one had the code to disarm it and those who did couldn't be reached. So...the firetruck came. Pretty quick, if I might add. We had to tell them it was a false alarm. They drove off, the alarm was disarmed, and we went about our day. Man, that thing was loud.

Well I'm still here. Still posting, still writing. To who? Probably no one. I like to think that I still have an audience. Oh well, it feels good to write still.

Later days

Facebook

Man, this social-networking website is taking over my life. It seems as if my happiness is dependent upon how many notifications I receive in a day.

I really DON'T like the idea of me being on Facebook all the time and I'm sure there are other things I could be doing with my time like clean my room, workout, go on dates...sigh...man, I am pathetic :D

Anywho, I'm sure things will change soon. I'm already heading to bed earlier than usual and once the school year starts, I don't think I'll spend much time on it. But for now, I have to do SOMETHING to pass the time...

Forgotten

You may feel forsaken...but you're not forgotten.

You're still in my mind, my memories.

I remember a lot of the times we've shared. Some bring a smile to my face. Others...bring an even bigger smile :D

But of course, there are times I remember that I wish I would have done things differently.

It's too late now, though.

But man...I can sure move one, can't I?

Friendship

Never take it lightly. Some people will openly confess that friendship means the world to them but if we're honest with ourselves, it means the world to all of us.

No one can get by without having any friends. Just the closeness you have with someone else, no matter who they are matters a great deal.

Sadly, some people use this great gift of friendship as a tool to get what they want. A means to an end, if you will. Others can accessorize friendship as with hats or coats, just wear it here and there and sees what looks best.

Of course, no one's perfect. We're all guilty of not treating friendship the way we ought to; being selfish.

Now I don't have all the answers and I sure don't claim to know it all but I want to be a better friend.

Forsaken

Do you feel that? Do you feel that everyone you loved and everyone who loved you has just left you without any care in the world?

Do you feel as if it's your fault? Maybe it's something you said or did that made them leave you. Maybe it was just something out of your control and there was nothing you could do about it.

Patterns...I see patterns. I follow after them. Things are set in motion and you know what they say about an object in motion. It stays in motion until another force acts upon it.

Ask yourself this question: are you the object or are you the opposing force?

That all depends upon what the object is, what direction it's going and if the opposing force is a good force or a bad force.

Some things...heh, will never change.

Fitness

Went to the gym today after work. I really didn't feel like going because it was a Monday and trying to learn the new job was giving me a headache. Not to mention that it was a long drive to the Y but nevertheless, I went.

I don't know what's up with me and the gym. I only do enough to work up a good sweat. Ten minutes or so of cardio usually does the trick when I start, then I'm off doing the free weights, a few machines and I'm done.

I do like how I feel after I workout though. I can eat a whole lot more :D And I do have a bit more energy. More than I would have if I didn't workout.

Oh well, hopefully I will become more of a fitness fanatic but I don't see that happening with the way my schedule is. But one can only hope, right?

Failure

Something that we all fear, especially me. And not just failing but failing miserably. Becoming a byword; an example of how NOT to do something. But in some areas, I'm a bit too late. But I don't dwell on those.

Ever feel inadequate? Ever feel that people build you up so high that you know that you're not worthy of standing on such a pedestal?

Ever feel...powerless? God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind but have you ever felt powerless, loveless, and unstable?

Don't worry, this won't last. I just need God more.

Finances

Don't worry. This post will be short. It's amazing to me how much I lack in this area and yet, will be overseeing the finances of my church.

That's right. I'm the new bookkeeper-in-training. I don't know a thing about economics, I stink at math, and numbers scare me.

But if I take what I learn and apply it correctly, there shouldn't be a problem.

...maybe I should have paid more attention to that church finance class in college.

Fact

Okay, so it took me forever to not only post something but to come up with another title that starts with the letter "F."

But will this blog post have anything to do with the title? Hmm...probably not. I can write some interesting facts about myself if you'd like. But there's nothing really interesting I can write down now so...yeah.

Heh, I'm just posting stuff.

But here's an interesting fact. I'm a guy. Duh! Now am I using this for an excuse to justify the things I do and the things I say? Umm...sure I am. Why not? Is there anything wrong with that?

This is fact until YOU can prove to me that it's fiction...

...go ahead. Take your best shot!

Fender Bender

Yep...got into an accident. Some Ford Explorer creamed me while I was waiting to turn. Both my sister and I are fine though. Since I was rear-ended, it's not my fault and the other driver's insurance will pay for it.

I've been in a pretty good mood until my parents started discussing the possibility of the car being totaled. Now, I was always under the impression that a totaled vehicle was a vehicle that no longer could be driven. It was explained to me that the car is totaled if the damage costs more than the value of the car.

Hopefully, prayerfully, this is not the case.

Forgetful

The question I have been asking a few people is "How do you get over something?"

Heh, it's funny. Almost everybody I have asked that question gets this look on their face and turns away as if they're pondering upon the question. And I get some of the common answers, "It takes time" or "you just have to put it behind you."

I've discussed in a blog post prior to this one that I hate to pretend like nothing ever happened. I don't get how some people can just put a bandaid over a situation and just go on, acting as if nothing ever happened. But I am still learning this concept though. Maybe with a few circumstances, that is what you HAVE to do and as time goes by, things start to slowly leave the memory banks.

I'm aware the Satan uses our sinful past to harm us in the present time. I desire most to be like the Apostle Paul, "forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before." The past can help us in regards to what God has done but it can also hurt us if we live in the past and not the present.

Satan has won a lot of battles but today is a new day. And may we all be on target with Paul and let us all say, "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Fighting

I've done my fair share of it but it's useless now. 

I really don't see why I try. 

Fine, I'll say it. I was wrong. You get a gold sticker, a cookie, and the acknowledgment that you were right. 

...besides, that's what you wanted all along. 

Now go fight with someone else.

Fire in the Hole!

Yes...I am angry. This is the angriest I think I've ever been. Just thinking, musing, pondering on everything that's funny. As I laugh...I really start to think. And then my laughter stops and it's silent. I grit my teeth, I clench my fist, my eyes turn red and I'm just plain fed up! 

(Be ye angry and sin not...)

Yeah, I know. I talked with my mother. I realize that I hold a lot of stuff in. I figure no one wants to hear me whine and complain. I'm sure there are enough people who think I do enough of it already. 

I'm at the point where if you're not going to give me a warm embrace, a kiss on the cheek and/or some cash...you best not mess with me! 

(That doesn't make any sense...)

It doesn't have to. Get off my back! 

(This isn't like you...)

I know...so what does that tell you? Something must have happened that set me off. 

(What happened?)

Nothing...I'm just going to hold it in so I can listen to you. Afterall, I am a great friend and a great listener who gives great advice. I must live up to my role. No room for selfishness here...

(...?)

Nothing...I'm fine. 

Frankly, my dear...

I really don't care what you think. I'm passed it, over it, beyond it. 

Foolishness

I just informed a friend that I laugh at...foolishness. It's easy to get frustrated at it and I do get frustrated. But hindsight causes me to laugh at it.

Why people do the things they do...heh, baffle me. People will fight, naw, scratch, and kill to do what they want, keep what they want to keep...but later on, it's all for naught. And they look back and wonder, "Why? Why did I do that? Did I accomplish anything?"

Eh, we live and we learn. I'm going to get some ice cream. Goodnight, good people.