Fire in the Hole!

Yes...I am angry. This is the angriest I think I've ever been. Just thinking, musing, pondering on everything that's funny. As I laugh...I really start to think. And then my laughter stops and it's silent. I grit my teeth, I clench my fist, my eyes turn red and I'm just plain fed up! 

(Be ye angry and sin not...)

Yeah, I know. I talked with my mother. I realize that I hold a lot of stuff in. I figure no one wants to hear me whine and complain. I'm sure there are enough people who think I do enough of it already. 

I'm at the point where if you're not going to give me a warm embrace, a kiss on the cheek and/or some cash...you best not mess with me! 

(That doesn't make any sense...)

It doesn't have to. Get off my back! 

(This isn't like you...)

I know...so what does that tell you? Something must have happened that set me off. 

(What happened?)

Nothing...I'm just going to hold it in so I can listen to you. Afterall, I am a great friend and a great listener who gives great advice. I must live up to my role. No room for selfishness here...

(...?)

Nothing...I'm fine. 

Frankly, my dear...

I really don't care what you think. I'm passed it, over it, beyond it. 

Foolishness

I just informed a friend that I laugh at...foolishness. It's easy to get frustrated at it and I do get frustrated. But hindsight causes me to laugh at it.

Why people do the things they do...heh, baffle me. People will fight, naw, scratch, and kill to do what they want, keep what they want to keep...but later on, it's all for naught. And they look back and wonder, "Why? Why did I do that? Did I accomplish anything?"

Eh, we live and we learn. I'm going to get some ice cream. Goodnight, good people.

Faux Pas

I meant Memorial Day...

I had Farm Town on my mind and was thinking about labor. An honest misake, I assure you

Farm Town

I don't want it to become another addiction...but it pains me to see crops ready to be harvested but I can't harvest them because the owner of the farm isn't there! I need the money and the experience!!

I must be sick if I'm writing a blog entry about a Facebook application. 

Anyway, things are looking up I suppose. I'm just hanging around at the computer. Labor Day is this weekend and my buddy Jake is getting married. It's going to be a fun weekend.

Farm Town...looking for work, please hire me.

Funny

Man...does anyone read this thing anymore? If I lost a few supporters then that's understandable. I really haven't been the flavor of the year so far in 2009... :D

So this is what my life has been "reduced" to, Facebook, Blogger and work. I like the working part though. I should be thankful and I am. Some of my friends have nothing and they're looking for a job. I love my job. No customers, just me and my trusty hands pulling trash and pushing a vacuum. :D

Hehehe...my eyes can't help but catch things. My mind can't help but wander and this smile (you know the smile) can't help but make its way on my face. It's all very...funny. :D

"Antoine, what are you talking about?" "Oh...I think I know." Well, you THINK you know and you're probably right...but then again, you're probably more wrong than a 5-year old child wearing a bluetooth earpiece. It's just wrong but oh so very...funny. :D

I suppose I'm at a funny stage of my life right now. It's interesting how I see things, how it all plays out. I really can just laugh at it all. Why? Because it's all just very...very...funny. :D

XD

Fear

...yes, I'm continuing with the theme. I'm seeing how far I can take it :D

But honestly, this seems to be the one thing a lot of my friends are going through right now, even yours truly. 

The unknown is scary, I know. But the Lord has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 

The Lord is going to take care of us. We know this but we don't want to be stretched. We don't want to get out of our comfort zone. 

But the Lord, He will take of us. He will never leave us nor forsake us. We must take the Lord at His word. 

Freedom

Funny thing about freedom. It seems the more freedom you have, the more bound you are. Quite the paradox, I'm sure. 

But it's good to be out of the clutches of the school. Feels good to just go riding around with a buddy into the wee-hours of the night, touring the beautiful countryside of Loudon County... :P

With more freedom, I've come to realize there's a limit. Without it, everything will just be plain anarchy. And we don't want that, do we? I know I don't. 

Contentment is the key. Christ is the goal. Godliness with contentment is great gain. May God help us to apply this to every facet of our lives. 

Frustration

Hehehe...it frustrates them. It absolutely frazzles them that I'm not doing what they want me to do. I'm not the person they want me to be. 

They care about me, I know. I love them and I don't deserve their friendship...but they forget, I have a life and I live my life for myself, not for them. And yes, I live my life for the Lord (to appease the pious crowd) and I don't intend to forsake the Lord after all He's done for me, to me, and through me. He's a wonderful Savior. 

You see, lately I've been the quiet one. And I think people looked at my silence and took that as compliance. I'm sorry if I'm the rebellious, prodigal son here but...I'm going to live my life. 

You have just a few more days left...endure it.

Forgiveness

A blog entry with such a title is bound to be endless (Don't be scared, this will be short. I promise). Forgiveness is somewhat of a mystery to me. How can someone completely disregard an ill action that was acted upon them to retain a proper standing with the offender? (My own definition, not Websters. Impressed?) Possibly it's because of the relationship with the offender prior to the incident was something to cherish so much that neither party would want anything or anyone to hinder that relationship.

But there's something to note after forgiveness has been granted. Things change. They have to. I liken it unto an equation that doesn't balance out. When an error is found and the equation doesn't balance, you have to start over. Much of the entries are still the same but some exponents must be adjusted.

Don't fear changing the exponents. If you want the equation to balance itself, they must be right. Keep working at it.

Coming Back to Bite Me

Yeah yeah yeah, I said something. And it came back to "bite me in the rear." My mistake. Foolish me, I thought I could choose my words carefully and choose the right ones to tell them to. People will let you down. People will disappoint you. I let people down. I disappoint people. My words were never meant to hurt or discourage anyone. For anyone that knows me for any length of time knows that about me. And I'm sorry you took offense to them...

...but I'm still right. 

My World...Changing

I can't stop it nor do I want to.

Transition is a funny thing. Leaving old things behind, going on to newer things. Some of it is hard. I know. It's going to be hard for me here soon but I must live each day as if it were my last. Or at least live each day as if it were on purpose (thank you Hitch).

I'm trying to do a few things before my departure. Trying to set some things in order, make a few things right. With some things, I'm succeeding. With other things, I don't think it's getting off the ground but no worries.

A few things have gotten my attention. I found out that people DO read this blog, heh. And that people are concerned for me. It truly humbles me. 

But my world is changing. I am changing. Things change...it's inevitable. But never look at change as a barrier but as a stepping stone. It may be harder to get to the next one but there'll definitely be a sense of accomplishment when you get there. Keep your head up and follow Christ. 

I love you.

Uh...

Exactly. Nothing much going on here. Just thought I'd post something. All smiles. :D All kisses :-*

Dead Sprint, All Heart

I can see it now...the finish line. Nothing gives you that extra wind like seeing that yellow tape in front of you. You gave it all you got...there were some mishaps along the way but all that doesn't matter. Just as long as you don't make the same mistakes.

Keep a good pace, put your head down, grit your teeth, and pray for divine power to fill you as you finish that race...

The Pain I Deserve

There's a distinction between grace and mercy. Grace is receiving something that you don't deserve and mercy is God withholding something you do deserve. As sinners, we all deserve hell. "But God commendeth His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom. 5:8) We are saved by grace through faith (Eph. 2:8). Mercy and grace work hand in hand. 

I realize how horrible a person I really am. How wicked, how sinful, how wretched I really am. I know what I deserve. Praise God, I'm saved. Christ has redeemed me with His precious blood. Why did He save a sinner like me? His Word says it's because He loves me. What bounless love!

But I'm still a sinner. I still sin. In many ways, my sin is ever before me. Now should I ask the Lord to remove all guilt? God has forgiven me...but my sin is still ever before me. The affects of my sin, I deserve. It cannot affect my soul or my final destination. Nothing shall separate me from the love of God and no man shall pluck me out of my Father's hand. But the guilt, knowing I wronged not only my God but those I love...I deserve it. 

I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused. I want to leave it all behind but I can't. I must confront what I did and every blow, I rightly deserve. Every pain-staking strike, it belongs to me. Now I'm not paying for my sin. Christ already paid the price. But as a child to a heavenly Father, I must be chastened. 

But have I learned my lesson?

Over this Wall

I've hit the wall.

And all I can do at this point is stare at how tall it is. I've been climbing for a long time and I have no choice but to keep climbing. It seems as if there's no end to it. I just want it to end because I know that as I'm over this wall, all I have to do is slide down and head on the next challenge. 

But is this what life really is? Just a series of obstacles?  I know I should talk like this because I am a Christian. I have Christ living inside of me. He has saved me by His grace and I have a home in heaven. And I also know that the Christian life isn't a bed of roses. As one identifies himself with Christ, he is also identified with His sufferings. The Apostle Paul said, "that I may know him." He mentions the "fellowship of his sufferings."

We all suffer. But I know that life isn't just a thing that you have to suffer through. Christ died for us that we may have life and have it more abundantly. 

I'm just going along. I'll make it but not in my own  strength. "His strength is made perfect in weakness."

Hit and Miss, Hit and Miss...

I know that along with years come wisdom. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 1:18, "For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." I've learned so far in my life how true this principle is. I've been told I'm a wise person. I take that with much humility. But I can recall several things in my life that caused this wisdom and knowledge. A lot of these things really did bring grief and sorrow.

When you were young, you may have wondered how it felt to touch a hot stove or how it felt to jump out of a high tree branch. At that time, you were unknowledgeable. But then you decide to touch that hot stove or jump out of that tree. Well...you know now that it wasn't a good idea but it cost you something. You have that knowledge but along with it came some grief and sorrow (not to mention, pain).

I don't know everything there is to know about life. No one really does except for God Himself. But I do know that whenever I live life in my own power, I fail. Not only do I hurt myself but I hurt those around me. 

Another timeless, biblical (if it's biblical, it's timeless) principle: your sin will affect others. That thought frightens me. Sometimes I'm so selfish I don't think about others when I do wrong but other people will be affected. Look at Achan, King David, Jonah and others. Sin in their lives affected friends, family, and other people. May God help us in this area.

The older I get, the more I realize that there are things I don't want to do but I know I must do them. This principle started with me at an early age with simply cleaning my room, eating everything on my plate, and brushing my teeth. Now, it has stemmed to paying my bills on time, going to work, and such the like. I have no problem with eating everything on my plate and brushing my teeth. Cleaning my room? Eh.... But there will always be something that needs to be done, even if you don't want to do them.

That's the sign of true maturity. Thinking of others and doing what needs to be done. Is this not the mind of Christ? He prayed in the Mount of Olives, "Let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." Christ made the ultimate sacrifice. It's going to cost us something to follow Christ, yes. It's also going to cost us to think of others and doing right by them. Take a look at your life. Are you living for yourself? Are you doing what benefits you for the present moment? There's pleasure in sin for a season.

I have a lot of growing up to do...

Nothing Changes...

I hate it when nothing changes. I mean, things seem to be stagnant and nothing is in your favor. But I noticed something that perhaps other people have experienced a long time ago. When nothing changes, character is being built. 

Something happens to you when things don't seem to go your way. Your faith is increased. You decide to depend upon the Lord and to give everything in His hands. You take certain things more seriously and lesser things not as seriously. I'm starting to see that the things that would trouble me in the past don't have much weight with me now and the things I haven't considered in the past, I focus on those even more. 

So this is maturing, eh? Funny, I thought I was doing a good enough job on my own. But we all have to go through it. Some may call it the refiner's fire, conforming into the image of God's dear Son. 

I just pray that as I am tried and purified, I shall come forth as gold.

You Hypocrite!

I'd like to think that I'm a consistent person. Now there are times when I'm a bit spontaneous and a special friend has told me that I'm full of surprises...and yes, I'm still full of them ;}

But I can't stand inconsistency. People that act one way and do the opposite. A better term is hypocrite. And I hope that someone calls me out on it if I'm one. It'll help me out tremendously.

I can't stand fake people. I can see passed their smiles, their friendly greetings, and their jokes. I can see passed their sudo-amiable countenances. A hypocrite has two things working against him: his words and his actions. Not only do they work against him but they work against each other. But there's a funny thing about words...they circulate. People always find out. 

You think you can go on and say what you want to say and save your face? You think you can use your silver tongue and your soft eyes to win everyone on your side? Think again. 

I'll fight for my friends. Those who I know that are innocent in the matter, they'll have my allegiance. You think you won...but you're far from a victory. 

And for those I fight for, you know who you are. I'll remain true to you because not only do you remain true to me but most importantly, you remain true to those who are against you, to those who have wronged you. That is most admirable and for that, I thank you. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. 

I'm here.

Under the Microscope

I'm just sick of living underneath this microscope. Every move I make is being watched and commented upon. They all have their ideas of why I'm behaving a certain way. I don't live for them, I know that. But why do I want to please them? What must I do to get them to leave me alone? What do they want from me? No one is telling me anything and yet I'm supposed to know it all. And worse than that, they're hurting those people that are dear to me and they think they're helping. 

I just can't stand it. 

A Lot on My Mind

I don't think I've ever thought about so many things at once like I have been doing recently. There are many things to consider, both short term and long term, but most of everything I have to deal with is short term. Nothing is set in stone for me. After graduation, what else is there? What do I do? Where will I go? I think about these things. I pray that the Lord will give me direction and I know He will. He'll guide and direct me. He'll not leave me nor will He forsake me. I guess it's just our sin nature to worry about things and when we worry, we're not exercising faith. It's a constant struggle.

Master's work, graduation, finances, and other things just hit me all at once. I can always pray about it all. "We have not because we ask not," explains it well in the book of James. 

Well you all have a good one. See ya later

And Then...There Was Monday

Sunday was a much needed rest for me. I guess it's because I wasn't feeling well. Head felt rather cloudy and I was dizzy. But it seems like every Sunday, I run a marathon which isn't really that much. I do the Shepherd's Class Sunday School and then go the nursing home for the afternoon and then head back to church for the evening service. Even though I wasn't up to par, it was nice to sit and relax, watch the services online while eating cake and drinking some milk.

And then...there was Monday. Heh, we all have them. It was rather difficult waking up. Every movement is a struggle on a Monday morning. But it's a Wednesday night now so I'm over the case of the Mondays (I better watch out, I'll get my tail kicked for saying something like that...). 

Anyway, I'll go on my way. Later gators.

Can Sorry Ever Do?

There's a game set before us and I violate the rules

I think only about myself and how I don't want to lose

I remember how I cheated myself and how I robbed you

I tell you from my heart, I'm sorry...but can sorry ever do?

I've placed you on a pinnacle and gave you worship that was due

Because in my heart I knew you cared and you stayed forever true

But the storms came and you fell off, my structure wasn't true to you

And I tell you from my heart, I'm sorry...but can sorry ever do?

You followed hard after my words of wisdom and nothing was refused

You listened intently and kept silent while I pondered and mused

But now I am at the end of myself, and a fool, I am presented to you

I'm sorry, my friend, I'm sorry, oh I'm sorry...but can sorry ever do?

But here I am, battered and beatened and there's nothing I can do

But I'll stay here, I will not move, because I'll  be here for you

I've presented you this question, "Can Sorry Ever Do?"

I know with me, it always will...but the choice is up to you.

Am I a Little...Off?

I don't think I am. I may be though, you never know. Things are constantly running through my mind, reminding me that I have less time. Less time for what? Well...heh, just less time. I always believed that the two things we're running out of, spending like crazy when we can be more sensible, but always needing more of is time and money. It doesn't matter how much you have; it matters what you use it for.

When you think about things that...well don't necessarily trouble you, but make you weigh the varying outcomes, it shows in your countenance. Maybe in your conversation, as well. Also, it can show in your conduct. 

I just want to be careful

Another Notebook

Man, it's hard to get started on this notebook. I know I should be ahead but somethings just end up getting in the way. And I lack some serious motivation. I read a chapter here and there and these other projects don't help either. I need to get some "gumption" and get to it. Sigh...okay, it's time to get to it. 

Just for Posting Sake

Yeah...nothing much going on here. Just writing something because I know that I haven't posted anything for a while. 

I want to post something interesting; something that gives new insight into what I'm dealing with or what's on my heart and mind. But it's 1:45 a.m. and nothing much is going through my mind except, "Ya know, I stink...and I want to fix myself a burger." Chick-Fil-A will cause you to produce a rebellious spirit...(if you haven't gathered it by now, I'm presently clothed in my CFA uniform)

One of my roommates hasn't returned yet...I think he said he was doing something and won't be back for a while. I don't know. I never really pay attention, especially when I'm playing NCAA '09. Oh, and if all you know how to do is run an option...please learn some other plays please. 

Yeah, random thoughts...it is now 1:48 a.m.

You Must Think I'm Stupid...

Naturally, being a guy, I have a one-track mind. I see one thing and that's all I see; not viewing the big picture.

But I have a surprise for you. Though I don't claim to have any ounce of extraordinary intelligence, I see more than one thing in many different angles. I know what she's thinking and why she thinks it. I know what's going through his mind and why he came to such conclusions. I understand why they are thinking this-and-that and on it goes.

But after it's all said and done, I do choose my way. Sometimes it's not the best way. Sometimes it's not the easy way. But it's the way that makes the most sense. Sorry if that's self-centered, I don't mean to be. But who else knows me better than me? I don't even know myself. Only the Lord knows me and I trust that He'll show me the way I should take.

If you're thinking I'm a complicated individual, well you are right... but it's so much fun :D

Adding Salt...

It stings...

Something less painful could have been used...

We could have just patched it up...

This injury could have been prevented...

It could have been different...

But you decided to play around...

You thought you were invincible...

Unexpected forces proved you to be wrong...

And now you have this wound...

An open reminder of your mistake...

And no doubt, it'll leave a scar...

But you'll know better next time...won't you?

I Like Spurgeon...But Not THIS Much

Just reading some Lectures to My Students by Charles H. Spurgeon as required reading for the Master's program. I've been enjoying it. He has a mind on him and he's a bit lofty but there's so much substance...which I like (...)

But man, I've been doing a lot of reading and more is to come. I hope I don't end up despising Spurgeon like someone I know. I won't say any names but this person knows of whom I'm speaking.

Ah well, it's all part of the process I suppose. It's good, it really is.

Hey, enjoy the journey. Later.

Incredulous?

Given the title of this blog, this post is dedicated to one of my good friends Liz. Hopefully this doesn't embarrass you, Lizzie.

I just wanted to say publicly that you're a wonderful person and I appreciate your friendship. As a guy, I appreciate your consistency and your sanity (seriously, sane girls are hard to find nowadays. You're a dying breed :D ). I enjoy every conversation we have. You're just awesome!

I could go on and on about this wonderful friend of mine but she already knows how I feel about her....don't you? :D

This is to you, Liz. Have a great day.

Refocusing

Allow me to give a quick word to all the nay-sayers, slanderers, two-faced cowards, and evildoers...congratulations, you won. But I'm still standing, stronger than ever. My spirit has been shaken, trampled over and attacked...but not broken. You made me realize that fighting with you was completely and utterly useless and futile. I remember what my purpose is now and it's not to contend with the likes of you. My only regret is caring what you thought about me. What a loss of genuine passion!

But for those who remained true, earnest, and by my side...congratulations, for you will always be dear to my heart. I lost sight for a brief moment but by God's grace, I'll get back on track. It's not over, not by a long shot.

And to both audiences, keep your eyes on Christ. I leave you with His ever so tranquil words, "Let not your heart be troubled..."

Is It Still January?

Okay...it's still January. Time is slowing down ever so slightly. I'm nowhere near my breaking point, I'm far from it...but goodnight, it seems like it's approaching.

All is well though. It snowed today. As I am typing, it's still snowing. Snow brings a certain happiness. It makes present problems seem so small when you see those pleasant flurries fall. (I'm a poet, can ya tell? :D)

It's a reminder that everything is going to be alright. God is still in control. Not only is Psalm 37 still in the Bible but the God of Psalm 37 still lives. Hallelujah!

One Person Can Make a Difference

It's funny how much power and influence one person has; whether it be positive or negative.

I'm facing a lot of negative power right now. It's so heart-wrenching and sad for someone you know and love to be mightily used of God at one moment...and then be mightily used of Satan the next.

Things at this point can never be the same. Relationships, unless by the divine intervention of God, will end and they will end miserably. People are showing their true form.

I've run out of options.

But thanks be unto God, Psalm 37 is still in the Bible. Praise the Lord!

Parental Discretion is Advised

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

This shows my frustration with people. People are funny; not in a humorous way (though that may be the case sometimes) but in a way that sparks one's curiosity. Due to the public nature of this site, I will not mention...well, anything in particular. Just shooting buckshot and seeing what I hit.

I've noticed that I like to candy-coat things to make them less harmful. But plain talk is easily understood. I'm slowly learning that concept. I'm also aware of the fact that I'm a very mysterious person; quite ambiguous. I'd go as far as to say that I'm the personification of ambiguity. I don't try to be but that's just the way I am. I think I have a few of my friends to thank for that; two in particular but I'm not going to mention their names.

I don't think I've been this "rowled up" before. I can just spew anything and everything unapologetically (This is my word so if you're an etymologist or a grammar teacher, get over it...bless your heart :D). I've gone too far and too long without having my side heard. I'm always trumped.

But what am I to do? I'll tell you what. I'm just going to sit here and wait. Whenever someone has the intelligence and the wherewithal to ask me and to hear me out, I'll gladly let them know. But until that happens, I'm going to be me...unapologetically.

Implications About Being a Nerd

While Preston was playing XBox Live, he made the comment "I'm a nerd." I've thought about that statement briefly and have come up with a few thoughts.

Obviously, nerds are very peculiar. They are different from everyone else. They have a few things that set them apart from the rest of the crowd; be it a certain interest, appearance...or odor.... But whatever the case may be, they're different. They somewhat go by the beat of their own drum.

Another observation I've made is that they are outcasts. They are often shunned from the "in-crowd" and labeled as pariahs. No one dares to be seen with them lest they be associated with them.

But I find a redeeming quality in all nerds. They, without any disputation, are passionate about their novelty/hobby. Whether the activity is video games, board games, reading, or anything is not what I admire. It's the passion they have that is so admirable. They put their heart into what they like. They're not mere participants but zealots. They throw themselves in it.

Look at the cool crowd. Notice the overall attitudes: indifferent, complacent, and lazy. The only thing they that takes effort with them is the maintenance of their "cool" status. Even that doesn't take much effort. All it takes is a "jellyfish" mentality; just going with the wave. Nothing's unique about going along with everyone else.

Are you a person of passion? Is there anything that you throw yourself into? Are you complacent, lack passion?

Are you a cool person or are you a nerd?

It's Looming...

School and work are ever before me...sigh, and I know I have to do it but I just don't want to do it. I think it's the same with everyone. Something's wrong with my notebooks for school. They're just a tad different from last time and I think they messed something up. I'm just waiting for some clarification before I start working on them. Right now, I'm just chillin in the living room watching Preston play Halo online. It's quite entertaining.

Folger's Gourmet Coffee is good and I highly recommend it. Chocolate Truffle is delightful. They smell great and the taste is great when you add sugar. Why the plug for Folger's? No clue. I just like the coffee. Oh well, catch ya later

Back in the Swing of Things

Today was odd...my head felt funny, my heart was beating quite fast, and I was reading all day. I have a notebook due tomorrow (or today, depending upon how you want to look at it) and I have been doing the last minute blitz before I get it done.

Baked a peach cobbler today. It was quite good. My roommates liked it. Very easy to make and even better to eat. See? As long as you follow the instructions, everything should turn out just right. Well, the saffron rice needed some more time but I'll get it next time. The chicken was alright too.

Well I guess it's time to start putting this notebook together. Registration tomorrow, fun stuff. Later.

Templates

So I was looking for a new template for a long time yesterday but I had to be somewhere so I just settled with this one. It's nice, has the eclipse-like effect. I wanted something that reflected more my personality.

I saw one with a bench in an open space, that was good. And this one that was titled "Lost" or something like that with a bunch of dead trees and pond.

I'm not emo, I swear. I'm just a bit weird. There was one with a wolf howling, I liked that one. But whenever I tried to copy and paste the HTML into the blogger layout, it would say something was wrong. I ran out of patience quickly and I just settled with this.

The one I had before was a denim layout. It was different but too girly. One person said they liked it and she was a girl so...didn't help me out much. I valued her opinion, of course but I was looking for an edgy, meloncholy look. This does a pretty good job.

Well, that's about it for now. Catch ya later.

Two Months? Really?

Has it really been two months since I posted something on this page? I suppose so. Well another semester down, another one to go. The spring semester always brings out the worst any everybody because it's longer with shorter breaks. I go into my Eeyore depressions that aren't as bad as they may sound. But with Masters...yeah, fun stuff.

New Years Resolutions, anyone? Not me. Very much overrated and always broken.

I graduate this semester...again. Hopefully, if I don't goof off or get too distracted. I'd like to start right and finish strong. Don't ask me about this summer though, that's still a toss-up.

Oh well, rock it out today! \m/><\m/

Home Alone

So it's Fall Break and a majority of my friends have gone home or someplace else for the break. All of my roommates are gone which leaves me here at the house by myself. It's not a big deal, really. I think I've inherited my father's appreciation for being alone and shutting out the world. Besides, with all the school work that I need to catch up on, I shouldn't be bored.

It'll be okay. With my work schedule, I'll pretty much be doing what I usually do. The only change is in the mornings where I can sleep in (cha-ching!)

Speaking of work, it's about that time. Until next time...

Gotta Love the Inconsistency...

Yes, yet again, it's been a while since I posted something. But since it's my birthday, I thought I should at least put something down. I had a really nice birthday today. My friends really made it special. I came to a conclusion after the party, the gifts, and the wishes. Outside being in the presence of God, nothing should make you feel more unworthy than being in the presence of people who love you. I don't know, maybe it's just me.

Anyway, thanks again. I somewhat look forward to the 23rd birthday. Catch ya later.

Hopefully, it's hereditary...

So I've grown up my whole life being informed that my mother is a wonderful cook. Fried chicken, peach cobbler, ox tail stew (personal favorite), and such the like are specialties that I've enjoyed.

While shopping through Walmart, I came across the meat section and picked up some Perdue boneless breasts, a bag of frozen mixed vegetables, and some various spices (to perk up the flavor of the chicken). I want to try my hand in cooking and my guinea pigs are my three unsuspecting roommates. Like I said before, hopefully my mother's cooking skills are hereditary and they're passed down to me. One can only hope, right?

A Lot of Caffeine

Okay, so today was quite an adventure beverage-wise. I drank two energy drinks and a several cups of coffee. I needed it because of the horrible night's sleep I had last night. Even though my heart was beating rapidly for the majority of the day, my body was quite weary. I should probably ease up on all the caffeine though. I could be a bit hazardous :)

Have a good one.

The Essence of Packing

A lot of people hate packing for trips, school, or what have you. But I found out what the true essence of packing is. It's all about timing. And don't allow things to distract you.

:D

Going Back To School

Yeah, not sure if anyone checks this thing anymore but I decided to go back to school.

It'll be different this time around. No dormitory, no annoying dorm mates that stay up in the wee hours of the morning talking about stupid stuff that doesn't even matter to anyone at all at anytime (...room 5...), no curfew, no mandatory meetings for dorm students, just more freedom.

But along with that freedom comes more responsibility, more necessity of of time management, more deadlines that need to be met and budgets that need to be established.

I keep telling myself, "Eh, other people have done it. Why can't I?"

It'll be an interesting experience.

Summer Slump

You know, it's real easy to fall into the supposed "summer slump." School's out, friends are gone home, and there's the glaring realization that you need something to occupy your time. And why not make money while doing it? So you get a summer job and realize...you're their property until school comes a'callin so they'll spit you back out to school. But for now, they favor your taste. Allegorically speaking, they swish you around in their mouth to get the full flavor like some wine taster. It's a real thrill.

Where have all those church members gone? Vacation here and time off there. Eh, much deserved I'm sure. It's just the church auditorium seems a lot bigger now.

I can't stand the television. I can't stand the internet. But just take a wild guess as to what I'm doing right now...

But if there's one good thing about this, I get to grow my facial hair...until I have to do something in front of the church then it's bye-bye peach fuzz.

I still have a desire to be sitting at a round table with 9-15 of the goofiest people I've ever met in the heart of what we like to call "The Great Hall." Each thought drives your further and further into a depression. A text message helps some. A phone call is better. A visit will revive those kindred spirits. But until then, there's still that slump...

I love the summer :D

Never Take Mom For Granted

I'm sitting here eating some blueberry muffins, sipping on some coffee, and ready to go to work where around 12-1 pm I will open up my lunch that my mother made for me. Now, a small thing right? But I think about her doing this everyday for 21 years, and that's just in my lifetime. And no, not making muffins, coffee, and my lunch everyday but just being mom. I owe a lot to her. So much that I cannot repay in my remaining lifetime.

Don't take your mother for granted. Yes, we're not perfect and we'll remind them of that like I do at times but love your mother.

Random, but worth saying.

Power of Lightning

We've had some storms here lately. Just watching lightning strike is really cool. Well I was on the computer when lightning struck and I heard a mild zap. Apparenlty it took our router out of commission so we had to get a new one.

Got a new job...yeah. Not completely sure how it's going to work out with scheduling conflicts and such. I'm not worried about it though. But I better be going. It's off to the bank and after that, it's work. Until next time...

I've Been Thinking...

You know what would be cool? Flippin' sweet superpowers! Man, I'd like to fly. I can just see myself shooting into the sky. Another cool power is telekineses. I'd be a beast. Random, I know but these kinds of things go through my mind from time to time.

Fickle Internet

Okay, my Internet doesn't work...but it does. IE doesn't work at all, Opera works for about a minute, and Firefox works for a few sites.

Anyway, I can't wait until I can get this problem fixed.

Mantoine vs. Trojan

Okay, you virus...you can have my internet, my files, and everything I possess BUT you will never take my freedom!!

Teaching Lauren to Drive

The title alone should scare you. That's right, I am exercising my rights as a big brother and teaching my little sister how to drive. Why me? Well, the answer is quite simple. My dad's jeep is a piece a junk and my mom...well, she's a mom. So the only solace my sister has at this point in time is me. Ironic, isn't it? There were times where she didn't want anything to do with me...but the tables have turned, heh. I don't mind it. It'll sharpen her driving skills as well as my teaching skills and yes, things are being sharpened.

Why am I so willing to put my car under such grueling treatment? I don't know why, to be honest. I know the worst thing I ever did with my dad's jeep was drive too close to low-hanging branches. Every new driver has their "Permit stories." I'd hate for my sister to have a permit story at the expense of my car...sigh.

At any rate, Lauren will learn more and more after each session: vehicle placement, speed, turning. My only prayer is that me, Lauren, and my car will all remain alive and kicking when all this is said and done.

Sigh...

Kinda bored

I'm wondering to myself if anybody really takes time out of their day to check this blog out anymore. Ha, funny thing. This text box let's me know whenever something is misspelled by a red underline and the word "blog" is misspelled. Go figure.

Well, I graduated from college with my bachelor's degree in biblical studies. Not without help from the Lord, my mother, and my many friends and peers. Will I be going back? I want to, I really do. But it's something I still need to pray about. Well, here's some nice photos :D

Heh, wow...

I really can't believe that people still look on this thing. I've neglected it for a long time.

So, it really stinks that I keep on spending more money than what's coming in. I hate to think about it but the Lord will take care of me.

Well, that's all I have to say for now

Have faith in God,
Antoine

Whoa!

Hehe, it's been too long hasn't it? Well, I was in no major hurry of posting. Just thought I'd write something down. I am really bored. Sigh...

A Tool Fit for the Master's Hand

The grace of God never ceases to amaze me. Today while doing some door-knocking with my pastor and assistant pastor, I met three young guys in the street. I started talking to them and two of them accepted Christ! The third guy already had accepted Christ once in his life. At the end of our door-knocking, there were seven kids playing in the street. I went over to them, we all started talking about Christ and all seven of them received Christ as their Savior as well!

I'm such a sinful, wicked person. How the Lord still uses me in a great way keeps me humbled. He is so gracious! Praise the Lord, for His mercy endureth forever.

A Tribute to Houston Lee Waller

Today, I received news that a someone I went to school with died in a car accident. He was truly a great man of God and he had a great testimony among the student body and faculty at Crown College. At this moment, Lee Waller is absent from the body and present with the Lord. Please pray for his family, his girlfriend Jessica, and Pastor and Mrs. Sexton.

How I Love Wednesdays

Man, Wednesdays are the busiest days I have and will have this summer. I wake up, go to the church, go home to change, go to work, go back home to change again, go back to the church, preach to the teens, and then go home for the third and final time. Sigh...it's tiring but it's fun. I actually feel like I'm doing something. Profound, I know. Now I'm enjoying a home-made fruit bowl. Mmm-mmm, love me some fruit. Alrighty, I'm gonna get some more fruit...and maybe some cookies. Peeth out ya'll!

Internship

Well, today was my first day serving my internship at my church. It was a pretty easy day, all I got was a run-thru of what was expected of me. It'll be a very busy summer but I feel that the Lord is going to use me in a great way if I allow Him to do so. There are a few road blocks that I need to get over but everything will work out fine. It'll be a very interesting summer, I know that much. But I'm looking forward to it, nonetheless. Until next time, my fellow bloggers...

Pizza and Tylenol PM at 2:00 a.m.

This is what happens when you mix the two...you get weird dreams. Around 11 o'clock at night, right after I ate three slices of pepperoni, sausage, and onion pizza, I was feeling really sleepy so I went and dosed off. But for some reason, I just stay asleep. So I went downstairs and took some tylenol PM (first time in a long time). After laying there for a couple of minutes, I was off to La-La Land. Heh, I had a dream that I was having a party in my downtown New York home when all the people started to congregate at the entrance. Curious, I went over there to see what was the matter. There was this police officer on top of this sand truck with a shovel in his hand walking slowly on top of it. Then all of a sudden, this gigantic sand-fist came out and pummelled the mess out of him. Come to think of it, that could be a really cool scene in a movie...

Anyway, it's Memorial Day so we're honoring those who died for our freedom. I'm going to the Baltimore Rescue Mission tonight so there's a possibility that there are going to be men there that have served in the armed forces. Oh well, enjoy your day and I'll catch ya later.

Home

Hey guys, I'm home. And it's about time. Now I'm trapped here for I don't know how long but I like it better this way because I have my own room, everything in the refridgerator is at my disposal, tv, internet, and I'm the blame if something stinks (which is never the case). Sigh...it does get boring though. But I better enjoy this while I can. Soon, I won't have time to be bored. Oh well, until next time...

Week Two: Over

Well, I finished my second interim this morning. All we had to do was turn in our notes in disc form and take the last test. I'm already semi-packed for tomorrow morning. I can't wait to get home. I'm in desperate need of...well, home! I've gone through a lot of things that the eye cannot see and I'm ready for a change in scenery. The one thing about ending so early is that I have all day to do nothing. Church starts at 7 but it's a long time from now. My bedding is already packed. I guess I have to find a way to waste even more time. Well, that's it for now. I'll catch ya later.

Check out my Slide Show!

England Trip Pictures

Jen, me, Sharon, and Val...typical "Crown" college students

Edinburgh, Scotland...my favorite place!

The London Bridge

Buckingham Palace

Big Ben

Westminster Abbey

Martyr's Memorial Free Presbyterian Church in Belfast, N. Ireland

Walking on College Street in Greenshire with Val

Windsor Castle

Hanging out with a peacock in the Peacock Garden

Warwick Castle

Stratford upon Avon...Shakespeare's home and museum

The city of Oxford

Me in a red telephone booth

Summer Interims

Okay so...many if not all my friends are gone for the summer and I'm stuck here doing summer courses. It's okay, I don't mind. Besides, this is necessary for me in order to graduate. Scheduling conflicts was the cause of me staying here. I won't be back home in St. Elsewhere until the 24th of May. Oh well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Oh yeah, about those pictures from England. Many of you who look at this blog may be anticipating them. I have the time now, it's just I don't feel like posting them just yet. I know, I'm lazy. Eventually, they'll be posted. Not all of them because I took over 300 pictures and I don't think Blogger can handle all of that but I'll post a few things. Until next time...

Guess Who's Back?

Yes, that's right. I'm back. Surprised? Not me. I had every intention on returning to you all. I just needed a break. Well, it's nice to post things again. I'll post some pictures from the England trip. It was awesome by the way! I might get a photobucket account so you can see all of them. But there are some that...well...I just don't want others to see. :) Anyway, I'll post something else soon. Peeth out!

err..ahh...AHH!!!!

I HATE FOREWARDS!!!!

...sigh...

...a faint heartbeat...

Death of a Blogger

I'm not going to blog anymore.

Closer to England

Thank you for your prayers guys. More support has come in and I already made the payment deadline for the 15th of February! Please continue to pray that the rest of the support will come in. Have a nice day. :)

Got a question for ya...

Hey, you single or somethin like that?

England

So, I'm in the Crown College choir and we're taking a trip to England. I'm raising support from friends, family, and churches to provide the funds for me to go on this trip. I'm praying that the Lord will work. My simple request from my fellow bloggers is to simply pray that God will work. I appreciate your prayers. Talk to you later.

I'm Back

I know, it's been forever and a day. The last time I posted something was...a while ago. Anyway, I'm back in school for what looks like another grand semester. 18 credits plus choir which totals to 19 credits altogether. The classes will be beast, let me tell ya.

The first couple of days back were great. I got to hang out with my friends again and we basically goofed off the whole time. We just finished our Faithful Men's Revival meetings with Dr. Raymond Barber. This guy knows so much Scripture. When I hear the term pulpiteer, he's the one person that comes to my mind. Go ahead and Google him if you want. See if you can hear some of his sermons or just go to http://faithforthefamily.com to see the sessions.

Well, choir practice is about to commence. I'll get back to my faithful bloggers later. Peeth out.

Man, I'm Just Lovin These Pix

Here's Mel!

2007

Whoever took this picture did a pretty good job, even though I didn't want you to take the picture and I was too late to block the picture.


Oh yeah, Happy New Year! It's the year 2007 now. That means at school, I'm gonna write "06," scratch it out with my pen and write "07" instead. I always do that. Make your New Years resolutions that you're gonna break in a week and have a blessed year! Peeth out 2006, hello 2007!

See? I Told You I'd Do It

Smile...Christina!

Hey, It's...Steph

So Steph took my phone and took a picture of herself. I told her I'd turn her into a cartoon. I did just that. :)

Enjoy!!

Where's Everyone At?

I'm signed in on both MSN and Yahoo messenger and no one is online. Well, there are a few people but they're "Away." Today's a pretty boring day. I woke up, studied my Sunday School lesson, and then got on the internet to do what? Nothing. Played a few DP tracks (the remix of Aerodynamic rocks my socks everytime and Neptune's remix of Harder, Better, Faster, Stonger is really good too), checked my mail...nothing, and just stared at the screen.

If you get a chance search "beatbox harmonica" on youtube, google video, or whatever, I suggest you do it. This guy is insane. Well anyway, off to work early. It's a holiday weekend so we're going in from 3-6:30. Oh well, see ya'll later.

A Good Week

Yeah, it's a pretty good week for me. I got my check from Chick-fil-A, my Christmas money from my grandmother, and I received my grades. I reached my goal for my college career. I got straight A's. There were many times where I was close but this time, I finally got it. It feels good getting straight A's again. The last time I got them was when I was in the 7th grade.

I'm getting my check for work this Friday and I should be getting some more money for my report card. The majority of this money is going towards, you guessed it, my credit card. So I'll be looking forward to making payments on it. Well it's time to work, gotta make that money. Have a good day, ya'll.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Merry Christmas all of youse. Yes, it is raining but it is Christmas. Praise God for His provision, providing salvation through his Son Jesus Christ.

Someone asked me how my morning was. I told them I didn't have one, on account of I woke up at 12:30 p.m. I was up watching movies: Inside Man and Mission: Impossible III (both pretty cool movies)

Well, since I was up so late last night I delivered the gifts to my family. Some perfume for my sister, perfume and an iron for my mother and some...well...much needed clothing for my father. I got some cologne and 20 bucks. Yay!

Remember, Jesus is the reason for the season. But I think I'm speaking to an audience who knows that already but a reminder won't hurt. Merry Christmas everybody! Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Hey, It's...uh...Me...

Just checkin out my hair, don't mind me.

Hey Look, Another Post

Hey ya'll...what's up? Feel free to let me know what's going on...really. Just leave a comment. Okay? Cool. Peeth out.

Christmas Time is Here!

Christmas is coming hard and fast, ya'll. I already bought gifts for my mother and my sister. I've yet gone shopping for my father but I have a good feeling that what I'm going to give him is going to be in full supply so I'm not worried about it.

Maybe I should change my blog's theme to be more festive...

We'll see what I can do.

Interim

Yeah, another interim! Now, it's church finance. It's pretty cool so far. We take notes about church finance and take a quiz at the end of the day over the notes we just took. The nice thing about it, we get to look at the notes while we're taking the quiz! Ha! Well, class is about to begin. Peeth out.

P.S.- I'll try to get some pictures of my interim dorm mates...well, the ones that are in my room anyway

Check These Cool Guys Out!

These are the coolest guys you'll ever meet!

Just look at this guy! He's so cool!

Well, I'm not so sure about this guy but definitely the first one is cool!

Me and my Sis!

Hey, here are a few pics of me and my sister:

Cool, aren't we? Yeah, you don't have to say it. Well, peeth out.

Home!

I'm home for Thanksgiving break! Thanksgiving was good. We did go to Baltimore and I got to see my grandma and several of my other family members. It was good. All my little cousins are growing up, it's so good to see that.

Today is Good Friday. You guys know it as Black Friday. That's why it's good. I gotta run some errands and hopefully no women will beat me up when they see me run off with the blouse they wanted...

Uh...anyway, have a good day, ya'll. Peace E-Z.

(P.S.- Since I know some Einstein will ask, FYI: I DON'T WEAR BLOUSES! Woe unto them that make a "blouse" comment)

It's Been A While

I know, I know, it's been a while since my last post. But between school, work, and simply not caring, I just haven't found the time to post. But I'm sure to have something for you in the near future.

Two days, people. Two days from now and I'll be on my way home for Thanksgiving break. I'm looking forward to it. My mom says that for Thanksgiving, we're going to Baltimore and having Thanksgiving with our extended family. And I have a real big family so it'll be cool. I'll take pictures and post them as soon as I can...and when I feel like it. Peeth out.

Toy, hang in there.

Fall Break 2006

We had some fun at Fall break! Check it out:

Obviously, something was in that soda.

I wonder if he knew that his computer wasn't on...

Whoa!!!

How would you feel if you had this guy around you all the time?

" Mommy, how do you spell propaganda?"

Don't ask. I don't have a clue either

Yeah, we had a blast. Can't wait to do it again!!

Commitment

I find it kind of funny how some people will hop on the band wagon with certain things (oh, for the sake of the conversation, let's use the example of blogs.) And they make a few posts because it's a "super neato duper idea" and everyone does it. But the last post they have dates back about 2 or 3 months ago. Heh, when will they learn.

Ugh!

THE INTERNET IS SO STINKIN' BORING!!!!

Open-Air Meetings

On this fall break, my friends and I went to these open-air meetings that Scott's church were holding. What we would do is go to a neighborhood, knock on the doors and tell everyone that we're having a meeting in a specific location (someplace nearby) and that if they came and participated in a raffle, they'll get different stuff. But before all of that, we'd preach the gospel to them. It was really good. Several people were saved and I was given the opportunity to lead two (2, dos if you're Spanish, duo if you're Greek) boys to Christ.

The stuff we gave away were pretty cool. We gave away bags of candy, 2-liter sodas, a ham (that's right folks, a ham) some stuffed animals and a bike! I wish I had pictures of it but I forgot to bring my camera. Stupid me, I know. But rewarding, nonetheless. Well, at least I know what on earth an open-air meeting is.

Sadie Hawkins 2006

Hey everybody. Want some pics? Here ya go:

Good times, good times. I didn't put a subtitle with each picture because I'm too lazy. Oh well, peeth out.

Fall Break!

Hey, guys. Long time, no post eh? Well, just got through mid-terms and Mission Conference. Sadie Hawkins was a blast, I'll show you some pics later. Right now, I'm at my friend Scott's house with Dave, Chris, and Jared. We're having fun and you're not. So...peeth out!

Hey Everybody!!

Long time, no post. At least, it feels like it. Want some photos? Well here ya go:

My Sunday school class, the Shepherd's Class. We have tons-o-fun!

Mission Banquet. Here's Cameron stuffing his face with some cake...the story of his life.

Jared makes fun of this security guard...not a good idea.

Bad news is that when I took the picture, the juggler dropped the pins and was fired...oh well!

Don't make fun, that's just the way he smiles.

And then there's me...need I say more?

Hey, It's My Birthday!

Yep, that's right folks. I'm 20 years old today. I feel so loved. I have brownies and cookies that my (female) friends have baked for me and my good ol' friend Scott bought me a Hardee's meal last night. I don't have any midterms today so this day can only get better!

Oh yeah, I woke up this morning with a pain in my shoulder and a lump in my throat. That's a nice present. Oh well, happy birthday to me!

No Cell Phone

So, I managed to lose my cell phone last Wednesday. I don't know how. All I remember is that I turned it on. I don't remember anything after that. I could've instinctively put it in my pocket. Heh, I let my mom know about it. She didn't seem too happy. Oh well, I'm still praying that'll turn up soon.

Okay...

I'm going to delete Y! Messenger. The only reason why I got it was to...um...you know, I really have no idea why I installed it. I'm going to delete it though. Well...see ya.

Heaven Rejoiced

On Thursday house-to-house visitation I was given the opportunity to lead a woman to the Lord. It was great! Her name is Holly and she has a 6 month old son Isaiah. She was very receptive and after dealing with her, she prayed that the Lord will forgive her of her sins. After she accepted Christ, I did not want to leave. I wanted to stay with her but we had to keep on going. Someone else will do a follow-up visit...they better or I'll do it myself! It was just fantastic. I don't know about you but I love it when that sort of thing happens!

Later on, we met an elderly mailman who was a Christian. He gave a powerful testimony and he encouraged us tremendously. Before we left, he stopped us and requested that we pray for his atheist co-worker. It felt great, it really did! I truly felt the presence of God.

Folks, that's what it's all about. Following the Lord and delighting yourself in Him. If you go to church out of drudgery or simply go for fellowship and that "your friends are there," I pray that the Lord will change your heart. It's all about surrending your life, wanting to know His will and delighting yourself in Him. Never get bored of it. Don't grow weary of the work. The Lord will bless like he did in my case.

And all God's people said...